What if I can't do this? (How To Get Out Of A Rut)

Today I got scared.  I felt doubt creep into my mind.  I felt that pit of fear in my core and I felt frozen with a question I can never answer in these moments.... "what if".

I was at a ladies gathering when the subject of Paleo came up.  One of my new acquaintances had read an article on the subject and, like most people who initially hear about the lifestyle, had her judgements about it.  She said something along the lines of "Just you wait! Once you have kids all that effort to live healthy and paleo will fly out the window and convenience will rule".  I joked with everyone about it, but inside I felt that pit in the bottom of my stomach growing.... What if she's right?

At this moment I lead a life of leisure compared to my usual schedule.  My husband and I are stationed in a location for 6 short months before we move on to our next duty station, so I have made little effort to busy myself with full time training clients, fitness classes, and work in general.  I'm a stay at home mom with no kids... haha!  It's wonderful and I know it!

That all being said, I still have lazy days where I would rather go get chicken nuggets (ew, I know) over cooking myself something for lunch.  I wish I could just throw a PB/Jelly sandwich in Jese's lunchbox.  I will go an entire week where I eat processed sugar on a daily basis.  I am far from a perfect Paleo princess friends and am the first to admit it.  I seem to go in waves... three weeks of perfection... one week of debauchery.  I "periodize" my paleo eating! LOL (only my trainer friends will get that joke).

Getting Back To The Point
When my new friend said that about "just you wait till the kids come" I started doubting myself.  If I have an entire week of poor food choices while leading this extremely leisurely life, what will I be like when I truly am stressed with school, a full client/class schedule, and a kid.  Will I say "F - it!  Here's some Cheerio's Boy"!  Will I end up conveniently forgetting everything I've learned over the last two years of my paleo journey?  Will I have the dedication, and motivation to prepare my sons "first foods" rather than buy commercial baby food?  Will I set a good, CONSISTENT example for my son?

Quit Being A Negative Nelly
No I am not going to be a Debbie Downer this whole post.  To help myself get out of this fearful thinking/feeling I am going to write about what I normally do to get myself out of these ruts... in hopes it will shake me out of this one! :D  Realize I write half of these blogs because I need to hear my advice much more than anyone else does!

When I start to feel these "what if" fears, something has to be done to get me out of it.  One of the most effective ways to get myself out is to get NEW motivation.  Motivation can be elusive.  I heard it said that motivation is like a shower... You must get it daily for it to be effective.  It's so true!  We get fired up about getting healthy from some external source (a quote, an event, a friend getting her butt in shape, etc) and we set out to make change happen in our lives.  Eventually, though, whatever got us fired up in the first place fades.  To keep going we have to find more things to motivate us.

What Lights Your Fire?
What motivates me seems to be education.  Education, and frienemies getting in better shape than me!  LOL =P  If I don't continue to search out and read up on clean eating and exercising the years of knowledge accumulated previously gets stored in the back of my brain to lay dormant and get dusty.  Here are a few places I get motivation from.  They are busy mom's who don't let convenience decide how healthy they are going to be.  They don't FIND time to prepare healthy meals for their families, they MAKE time.  

• Christina is a new mom who writes about her struggles and successes of raising her first child in a clean eating way.  I like her because she is witty in her writing and has a ton of info in her pretty little head!
• Peggy not only has an amazingly informative and helpful blog of her own, she has a great article packed with her list of fav paleo and/or parenting blogs!  Check it out!  The list is extensive and introduced me to a lot of brand new blogs I'd never heard of. 
• Check out Sarah, author of Everyday Paleo cookbook.  She's like a super-human!  Mother of three, published author, crossfit enthusiast, and regularly posts stuff on her blog. 

Don't Forget To Remind Me
Another thing that helps kick me out of my rut is to REMIND myself that I plan to change.  Have you ever "forgotten" to change?  "Oh yea... I forgot, I was going to look up a new recipe to try tomorrow night", "oh yea... I forgot, I was going to skip my starbucks trip this morning".  Sometimes our habits are hard to break, not because we lack will power, but because we get busy and forget!  To combat this I write my intentions/plans down on post-its to remind myself to do them.  At one point I had more post-its on my walls/mirrors/car dash than friends on Facebook.  =P

It Takes Two To Tango and Sometimes Three!

My sister & I finishing our 1st Half Marathon!

A generic tip that seems to always work for me is to have a partner to change with.  No matter what my goal is (eating better, exercising, getting an educational book read, etc) if I have a buddy or two to hold me accountable I ALWAYS follow through.  I would never skip out on my workout buddy who gets to the gym at 5am expecting me to be there with her!  I think twice before stopping for fast food rather than cooking when I know I'll have to tell my buddy what I did.  Having a partner who wants to make change in their life just as much, or more than I do has always helped me stay on a linear path towards my goal.

I Accidentally Lost 50#'s!
Lastly, I know it's another generic tip, but it's another MUST for success.  We must prepare!  No one ever "accidentally" eats a perfectly clean diet, makes their own baby food, gets their Masters degree with a full time job and 3 kids, or loses 50#'s.  You can't hop on the highway and wish your way to San Diego and make it there.  You have to plan your route.

How do we plan?  Ask yourself this:
What is my long term (12 month) goal?
What is the half way mark to that goal (this is your 6 month goal)?
What do you need to do each month to reach the 6 month goal?
What do you need to do each week to reach your 1 month goal?
What do you need to do each day to reach your weekly goal?

CONSISTENT daily action is the only thing that will keep us heading in the right direction.  It helps if your goals are specific rather than general though (i.e. I want to eat 100% Paleo 6 days a week VS I want to eat a cleaner diet.  OR.... I want to lose 50lbs by July 1 2013 VS I want to lose weight).  For me, my goal is to stay more consistent with my paleo eating.  A day or two of botched eating is fine... a week is no bueno!  My goal can be to eat 100% Paleo 6 days week.  To accomplish that on a daily basis I know I will need to cook dinner 6 days a week (If I cook extra I can get away with serving left overs 1-3x too to lighten the load).  Although I have TONS of recipes accumulated I need new ones to keep my motivation up.  So on Sundays I will google some recipes or look through my cookbooks for new ones to try.  Make my menu for the week, make my grocery list, and be set up for success for the week.  Easy Peasy!!! :D

Get The Stick Out Of Your Butt
My last piece of advice I need to hear (and you may need to hear too) is lighten up!  In my short journey in life thus far, I've realized that I am not perfect... I know! Shocker!  Nor will I ever be perfect.  My motivation, inspiration, and dedication will ebb and flow.  I will not be the perfect paleo parent.  I will probably eat chicken nuggets in the future, and may even feed my son them.  I will order Domino's and eat the crap out of that cheesy bread.  The best advice I can give myself in these moments of fearing the "what if's" is to lighten up!  Keep learning... Keep growing... Keep going!  Life goes on.

Why I've Hired a Doula & Preparing For D-Day

INFORMATION PROVIDED BY www.donna.org:

A "doula" is a professionally trained birthing coach.  The word "doula" comes from ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves".  Doula's are trained to provide continuous physical, emotional, and informational support to mothers before, during and just after birth.  "Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they breastfeed more easily."

Why I've Hired A Doula

The main reason I've decided to hire a doula is that I will be PCSing (relocating) to Ft Bragg North Carolina when I am 8 months pregnant.  I plan to deliver at Womack Army Community Hospital which has anywhere between 8-12 providers (doctors) and 6-10 midwives.  I've heard Womack described as "an assembly line of births" because of the large population at Bragg.  This doesn't seem so far fetched because, lets be honest,  us military folk are really good at two things:  Blowing stuff up, and reproducing!  ;-)  Due to the large amount of providers at Womack I will probably have a stranger delivering my son.  There is no way to meet every provider and midwife before the birth.  Hiring a doula from the area will ensure I have a professional by my side who knows my fears, my history, my hopes for the birth, my preferences, and has an established relationship with me.  This will help me relax and allow my son to come as quickly as he'd like to.

Check out this great video my Doula sent me on the benefits of having continuous support during D-Day:

Fear

My biggest fear is not the pain of labor, but that unnecessary medical intervention will be performed which can have repercussions throughout my labor, the rest of my life, and even worse, can effect my son negatively (see video below "Avoid Unnecessary Interventions").  Our bodies are designed to do this.  Any intervention (small or large) could have consequences immediately or down the road for mother or baby.  I pray I will have an uneventful birth and can bring him into this world naturally, but am also learning as much as I can about what could need to be done in the event of an emergency.  Having my doula there will help me make INFORMED decisions about medical intervention if the situation presents itself.  She may also know of natural alternatives that I am not familiar with.  She will NOT replace sound medical advice in the event of an emergency, but she WILL add more to my "bag of tricks/tools" to make the day more comfortable for my husband and me. 

Another perk of having my doula present is the "safety blanket" for my husband.  Although he will be my "head coach", having an "assistant coach" there will help him relax knowing that he has back up, doesn't have to remember EVERYTHING we've learned from our birthing classes, and has someone who can step in if multiple people are needed to support me in different ways (or if he needs a break).  He is probably MORE nervous about D-Day than I am, and has repeatedly volunteered to go through the pain for me.  Which I have graciously said "Okay" to! Ha! I wish! :-D  Having our Doula present will give him the added confidence that together we will be able to do this.  Having her there will take stress off of both of us so we can enjoy the birth of our first child and strengthen our bond as husband and wife even more.

Finding A Doula

I got a list of Doula's in the Fayetteville area from my Bradley Method Of Natural Childbirth instructor.  I contacted all of the ladies and did several phone interviews (googling "questions to ask during a Doula interview" to help me conduct the interview), and decided on one who I felt most connected and in tune with.  She is well educated, has lots of experience, and is supportive of my choice of natural birth.  She has also taught me a lot since hiring her.  She's answered endless amounts questions, and is my "go to gal" for credible information.  Google is great, but you never know how credible the info is.  She's been a wonderful addition to my "birth team" already, and I haven't even given birth yet!  

Show Me The Money!!! 

Since insurance usually doesn't cover the cost of hiring a doula I was a bit worried about how much it would be.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that most of the ladies I interviewed worked on a "sliding scale".  There was a very reasonable base line cost ($200 for my doula), and then another payment of anywhere between $100-500 due upon birth depending on how much my husband and I can afford.  My doula gave us the option of making payments at our convenience.  After speaking with the ladies about payment all of them ended the conversation with telling me that if finances were the ONLY thing keeping us from hiring her that she would work with us to find a cost that fits our budget.  WOW!  These ladies are truly doing their work for the betterment of their clients vs. to make a living.  I was very impressed. 

Training For The D-Day (insert Eye Of The Tiger music)

On a different note, after speaking with many moms I've realized that a lot of woman don't do much to prepare for the big day.  That surprises me.  Maybe my HUGE fear of this major event has made me more information hungry than most, but like I've said in past posts, I look at the labor/birth process as the most physically and emotionally demanding event in my life.  Just as an athlete would train for an Ironman race, I am going to train for my sons birth.  There are a lot of things you can do to help condition your body and mind for it.  Most of the exercises make me look ridiculous and have given my husband endless amounts of laughter, but by golly, I'm gonna pelvic rock till the cows come home if it will help this boy get out easier!  :-P

This is an amazing compilation of real woman speaking of their personal experiences.  "Birth doesn't have to happen to you".  Get as much info as you can to prepare for one of the most important days of your life.  From lamaze.org.

The following are videos my doula sent me (see full site here) in order of how labor progresses.  They are great snip-pits of information and are about 2 - 3 minutes in length.  I hope if you are pregnant (or planning to have children in the future) that these videos will "wet your appetite" for more information on the subject.  You can prepare for this.  You can train your body for this.  You don't have to be a patient in a hospital... Birth doesn't have to "happen" to you.  You can be a participant of your child's birth. You have the chance to make it a beautiful and wonderful experience rather than a horror story. (Of course I say all of that without actually having ever experienced it (haha), but I've read inspiring stories of others who have achieved beautiful births that have given me hope of following suit.) 

INTRO: Safe and Healthy Birth

Let Labor Begin On Its Own

Walk, Move, and Change Positions

Avoid Unnecessary Interventions

Get Upright and Follow Urges To Push

Keep Your Baby With You

http://www.lamaze.org/PushForYourBaby-Video

D.A.R.E To Keep Kids Off Drugs (for heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and cancer)!

Ohhhhhh I'm SASSY today!! I normally keep my sassy comments in my head (other than when I am talking to my husband of course) but today I had a hole in my brain-to-mouth filter and let one slip out.  I was picking up my refill of the standard prenatal vitamin from the pharmacy today when the lovely woman helping me started going into the schpeal of how to take it and possible side effects.  She said "Now it has a little more iron in it which can cause constipation in the majority of those taking it, so if you experience that just call your doctor and have him prescribe you a stool softener and that will keep you regular".  My reply... "(insert little laugh) Yeah... Because I couldn't possibly just eat more vegetables and water right?" I was met with silence and a confused look from the lady so I quickly said thank you and left.

Okay okay, so it wasn't SUPER sassy.  I'm sure my husband would agree I've said sassier, but those types of things get under my skin and hopefully my passionate feelings of negative judgement for the general medical practices of this nation didn't make the woman feel badly about trying to help in the only way she probably knew how.  See, now I feel bad.  Oie... My conscious is too big!

TOUGH QUESTIONS:
Anyway!  I'd like you to ask yourself this:  How much medicine do I take on a daily/weekly/monthly basis?  How much medicine do I give my children?  Is the medicine for chronic (long term) ailments, or for acute (short term)?  Are you taking any medication to treat side-effects of other medication?

DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES ALL IN A BUNCH:
Now don't get me wrong, I believe that medicine/drugs have a place in this crazy world of ours... but what I believe is that it is a VERY SPECIFIC place.  Anyone who has an ailment or disease that medical intervention is absolutely necessary is excluded from this blog post so stop getting all huffy puffy about your personal situation with necessary medication.  I'm not talking to you.  I do not condemn the use of medication... I condemn the OVER use of medication when it's not solving anything... when it's masking symptoms rather than solving the problem!

U.S. culture today would have you believe that medicine is the CURE.  Most of the time guys... IT'S NOT!  It is a symptom reducer.  It does not fix the actual CAUSE of the problem... rather it minimizes the EFFECTS of the cause.  Kapeesh?  I've said it once, I'll say it again:

FOOD is the purest form of medicine for our bodies... 

and can also be the slowest poison! 

Our bodies will "put up with" a lot before finally breaking down.  We are truly miraculous beings... but eventually, our bodies can't heal the damage done by the foods we eat day in and day out, and that is when disease occurs.  It's a tough lesson to learn because our choices don't affect us now.  They may affect us 5 years, 10 years, or even 50 years down the road.  We think we are young and invincible, until we're diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure when we are in our 30's.  Enter medication!!!  Yay! I can still eat ice cream and use my medication to control my broken body!

Eating Poorly Is Like Using Dial Up Internet

I'll wrap this up... Not convinced eating crap out of a box with added chemicals, fake sugars, and mystery ingredients is bad?  Think of it like this:
If we don't eat what happens?  We die, right?  So eating is a pretty important part of life, wouldn't you say?  If food is so important to life why do we treat eating healthy as an option rather than a necessity?  Food is what our body runs off of.  It is our gasoline.  Eating poorly is like trying to surf the internet on dial up.  "OH DEAR BABY JESUS JUST LOAD THE DARN PAGE ALREADY!!!!!!!"  Its just not that effective.  Sure, you can facebook with dial up, but its not going to be very enjoyable.  Sure, your body can fuel its cells, repair the damage, and continue working with poor food choices... But it's just not that effective.  Eventually you will throw your lap top against the wall and call to upgrade your internet....  Eventually your body will break down and something will manifest (disease/sickness).

So rather than medicate the effects of a problem when it finally manifests... why don't you solve it by putting down the activia, and sugar free ice cream, and eat a darn apple!  Start feeding your body properly so that true healing can occur and eventually your medication is no longer required.

Label for Low Fat Activia - I count THREE different types of sugar.  Aspartame, Fructose, and Sucralose.  Seriously... THIS is supposed to be better than a REAL piece of fruit?  Oh but look at all that fiber to keep you regular!  A whopping THREE GRAMS!! Hot Damn! It's a SUPER FOOD!  (Barf!)

  

Things That Tick Me Off!!!!

This post is categorized as "random rant".  You've been warned.

Pet Peeve #1:  

"Poor Mrs Military wife... You have the hardest job in the military"

Oh that saying gets under my skin.  Really... Being a military spouse is the "hardest job in the military"?  Really?  No friend... no it's not.  I stay home surrounded (or at least a plane flight away) from my family who can hold me, call me whenever I want, and support me while my husband is living in a shack in 110 degree weather, "hoping" the random mortars that get shot over the base walls don't actually hit anything (aka HIM while he sleeps).  I get to hold my child every day (well I will when he is born).  Get to celebrate his birthdays.  Get to snuggle.  And yes, even get to drag him out of the commissary kicking and screaming because I wouldn't buy him cheetos.  Even the latter is a blessing in my husbands eyes, because at least I am there!

Yes, I move every 2-3 years.  Yes, I have to essentially start from scratch in my career/job every time I move.  Yes, I am often far away from my hometown.  Yes, the pay doesn't always cover EVERYTHING I could possibly want.  Yes, when living on base I usually wake up to the sound of soldiers singing cadence at 5am. Yes, the military is not just a job, but a complete lifestyle.  But my "job" as a military spouse doesn't hold a candle to the actual job of military members.  I am blessed beyond measure and am so grateful there are men/women that are willing to volunteer to serve our country because frankly, I am too scared to.  I am glad they have enough guts, pride, and sense of duty to make the leap into the unknown.  My job is not hard.  I get to love and support a man I believe in.  A man I look up to.  A man that loves me enough to sacrifice so many things for me.  I am blessed.  My job is not hard.

Pet Peeve #2:  You're Pregnant!  

NOW is the one time in life you can eat whatever you want!!! 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  If one more person tells me that I am going to start swinging!  When pregnant our bodies are insulin resistant... we are essentially fat storing machines for 9 straight months!  AND what we eat directly influences the ENTIRE LIFE of the baby inside us.  Maternal nutrition and health has been linked to childrens' body fat throughout life, immune system function throughout life, and emotional/behavioral disorders throughout life.  This is NOT the time to eat whatever we want!  This is the time to eat only good stuff to 1) not gain a million pounds that we will then have to work years to lose when the baby is out, and 2) give our children the best start in life!  

Pet Peeve #3:  Oh you're pregnant?  Don't run, lift weights, get your heart rate up, bike, row, walk, lunge, or sweat! 

Labor/Delivery:  It's like giving a person who can't swim (and is quite terrified of the deep end) nine months notice before being pushed into the pool without a lifeguard.... I guarantee that person is going to take those nine months to learn to swim right?!?!  Why is labor/deliver so different in our culture?  We think pregnancy is an excuse to get lazy and eat junk.  Pregnancy is a nine month warning before the most physically demanding event of your life will happen.  Personally, I'm doing anything and everything in my power to prepare for this event (physically, emotionally, spiritually).  I couldn't possibly run a marathon without months of training before hand... the same goes for labor!